I’m going to milk this one for all I can. My first real “Only in New York” moment occurred last week. Forgive me if I make it sound more exciting and dramatic than it actually was but hey, it’s my blog…..you want accurate re-telling of events? Boy, are you in the wrong place!
Twas a morning like any other. Our apartment is on the 17th floor of a large complex facing the east so I awoke to the usual New York sunshine pouring through my window. My sisters were staying with us but they had left early to bike-ride around Central Park and Trinh was on her way to work. I had the place to myself. That meant I could pursue my regular morning routine of making coffee, firing up my laptop, sitting at my desk overlooking 6th Avenue and checking emails wearing nothing more than my bright blue jockey underpants I wore to bed. A rare treat…and not something I like to inflict on others. I’ve noticed house guests simply don’t appreciate a half asleep, half naked man in bright blue undies in the morning. Strange I know, people just can’t see beauty in it’s most pure form.
This particular morning I had a writing project I was keen to finish so I spent a couple of hours beating away at the keyboard until it was completed. At last I finished, I re-read what I’d written, spell checked and grammar checked. My job was done. I felt good. I stood up and had a big stretch only to nearly fall over when I looked down onto the street to see crowds of people looking up at me!!!
The entire Sixth Avenue block we live on was closed. Police cars, ambulances and curious onlookers filled the street. All of them looking up at me! I immediately thought it must have something to do with my bright blue undies. What else could it be? Are daggy undies outlawed in these parts? Was I being arrested under the “Obscene Undies Exposure” act of 1977? I felt confused, embarrassed and I must admit, just a little bit liberated……hey, it’s not everyday you are on show in your undies in front of hundreds of people! There was something primal and appealing about it.
After the initial shock, reality started setting in. Could it be possible that my undies were not the cause of all this fuss? If not my undies, then what? Visions of bombs exploding, buildings falling and people with guns shooting other people flashed through my mind. I slapped on some clothes and ran downstairs thinking I may be the last guy evacuated from the building. Nobody told me! I’m gonna die! Oh The humanity! Why me lord? Why??!!
I got safely outside and joined the crowds of people looking up. I asked the man next to me what was going on. Apparently, there was a guy a few windows above mine about to jump. Pretty sad. You can’t help but feel for the guy. I watched for a while until I realized I wasn’t too keen on seeing someone jump to their death. Seems I was in the minority though as the sidewalks were filled with gawkers. I went upstairs and decided to get on with my day.
Back in the apartment I kept a check of what was going on downstairs. After a while, more and more people were filling the street and more and more police were showing up. They had even inflated one of those big air mattresses to catch the guy if he jumped.
Things were getting weird. I looked down and noticed the swat team arrive. Now why would a guy jumping off a building warrant a swat team? I started to think that maybe I was given the wrong information. I ran back downstairs. As the lift opened on the ground floor I was greeted by a team of swat men with guns telling me to “clear out!, clear out!”. Those blue undies of mine were very close to turning a different shade of colour.
Outside I was told the so-called guy jumping was not just a jumper but a crazy jumper with a gun! I decided to stay away from the building for a while.
The story ends pretty dull. The guy gave himself up, was taken away by the cops and the crowds cleared. Things got back to normal as if nothing had happened.
The funny thing is, this didn’t seem like a very strange situation to these people. Just another day, just another crazy New York occurrence.
So all in all, my first New York scare ended happily. The crazy guy was safely taken away, the ambulance crews were not needed and my blue undies were left virtually unscathed.
-Posted By Adam